


Two Years, Four Months and Two Weeks

by faintlyfreckled



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Gen, J2, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-07
Updated: 2012-07-07
Packaged: 2017-11-09 08:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/453558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faintlyfreckled/pseuds/faintlyfreckled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't be miserable, Jay, I want you to be happy. Promise me that you'll be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Years, Four Months and Two Weeks

It was a Tuesday afternoon, Jared playing hooky with Jensen, doing whatever they wanted to. It wasn't a particularly spectacular afternoon, not by anyone's standards, but that one sticks out for Jared. Why? Because Jensen was acting much more like himself again. Jensen wasn't talking about doctors or medications, not slumped in the corner of his couch cursing the universe. Today, he was the Jensen that Jared fell in love with. Happy, for the first time in a long time, talking about sports and the weather. All they did that afternoon was hang out in a coffee shop a few blocks from Jensen's apartment, talking about anything and everything. Jensen actually laughed. It was the most amazing sound in the world and it had been ages since Jared had heard it.

That was two years, four months and two weeks ago. That random Tuesday afternoon was one of the best days of Jared's life and he was never going to forget it. It ranked higher than high school or college graduation, his sister's wedding or even the day he met Jensen. Sure, he was grateful that day had happened in the first place, otherwise he wouldn't have had the love he did. However, that Tuesday afternoon was dear to him because he was reminded of the man he fell in love with before everything went to hell.

It's raining today as Jared gets out of his truck, a large bouquet of flowers tucked under his arm as he locked the doors and headed to his destination. He was wracked with nerves, but that wasn't anything different. Jensen always had that effect on him, like his heart was going to leap out of his chest through his ribcage, and he didn't expect that to ever change.

"Happy birthday, Smackles." Jared said with a soft, broken smile. He laid the flowers in the grass near the cold stone before tracing the letters in Jensen's name. _Jensen Ross Ackles_.

Jared let out a strangled sob in his throat, but got himself under control as a chuckle replaced his sorrow. "It's really comin' down today, man. You'd've loved it. I bet I'd be in my backyard in nothin' but my boxer shorts by now, you whooping and hollerin' about how it's good for me..." Jared began, wiping his face. He wasn't sure if the moisture on his face was all rain or if some were tears. He wouldn't be surprised if some weren't falling from the sky.

He sits quiet for a while, listening to the pitter patter of the rain around him, trying to imagine Jensen kneeling beside him instead of lying six feet under him. "Megan says hey, by the way. She wanted to come, but..." He let his sentence drift off because he wasn't sure how to finish it. It was hard, for all of them, so he decided to let Jensen know that. "It's rough on her, Jen. Hell, it's tough for everyone. We all miss you, Jensen." Jared paused to let another sob pass before continuing. "I miss you, babe. Life's not the same without you."

Jared stays quiet after that, his emotions taking over and he sits there in the rain with the love of his life's headstone. It's not fair, having to live without him. It isn't fair that he didn't get to see Megan in her wedding dress or meet Mackenzie's son. Jensen's an uncle and he never got to hold his nephew. Jensen, he loves kids... loved. Jensen _loved_ kids... Jared reminds himself, because Jensen isn't here anymore. Using past tense is still hard for him.

Hours pass, Jared sitting in silence, still tracing the letters in the rough stone long after his fingers have gone numb. It's strange for Texas to be so gloomy and depressing in March, but Jared isn't surprised. He finally gets to his feet, feeling like jell-o and dizzy. He stares at the flowers he's left, then leans over to place a chaste kiss to the top of the stone. "I love you," he whispers softly, and he can almost hear Jensen return the words.

Jared leaves without looking over his shoulder. It's getting harder and harder to come, only now visiting on holidays and Jensen's birthday, but he can't help it. He can't picture Jensen not being by his side, never laughing again. He'll never be able to make love to Jared again, but it gets better... some day. Jared isn't sure how long that will take, exactly, but he has a sneaking suspicion that he's an exception to the rule. Jensen's absence is something he will _never_ just get over or move passed.

He gets into his truck, sitting behind the wheel as he takes a deep breath. Time to join the land of the living again. It's time to continue working passed this, to enjoy life and grab it by the horns. Though, he doesn't want to. He does it for Jensen because it's what he wanted. It was the last promise that he made to Jensen and he intends to keep it.

_Don't be miserable, Jay, I want you to be happy. Promise me that you'll be happy._

Jared tries to be happy, and right now, that's the best he can do.


End file.
